Surrender? What the hell is this guy talking about?
Yes, Let me explain what I mean for semantic purposes. By surrender I do not mean give in to your feelings, that is what most people tend to do. I don’t mean that at all.
ACCEPT WHAT YOU ARE FEELING
So what I mean by surrender is that you should accept your feelings. Understand the information they are giving you. Your feelings, whether it be sadness, happiness, physical pain, etc, are all biological suggestions . They are giving you information in which you have the choice to act or not act off of.
YOU ARE NOT YOUR EMOTIONS
Most people tend fall into the trap of associating with their emotions, meaning they believe they are their emotions. We say things like “I AM sad”, “I AM in pain”, “I AM happy”. Using the word “I” tells us that we identify with these feelings, rather than saying “I feel to be in the state of sadness”. Of course no one wants to say that long ass sentence, but regardless they have different meanings. Saying “I feel to be in the state of sadness” conveys that we are feeling an emotion, that we are in the state of sadness. (and just in case some of you are thinking, “then doesn’t being in a sad state mean I am sad?” No, emotions are of themselves don’t look to identify with the state either) The illusion is believing that our emotions are an extension of us. We tend to let emotions and feelings mold our world, tell us how to feel about a situation, and if a situation is good or bad. When in reality they are just biological suggestions, not commandments.
For example, lets say during a workout your body feels as though it is in pain/ stress. Now, you can make a decision based off that pain and say to yourself, “damn my body hurts I’m going to skip the next set and go home” OR you could understand what the nerves in your body are telling you and make a decision HIGHER than what you are feeling. Personally, I have an internal monologue with myself along the lines of “Who the fuck do you think you are telling me I can’t do another set”, and I go on with my workout, anyways you get what I mean lol. Acknowledge what your body & emotions are telling you and make a decision greater than that feeling.
Feel you emotions, do not give into them and let them morph your reality.
Your emotions & feelings do not define you. However, I am not saying emotions are the bad guy, they are for sure useful. We just need to be aware of what happens if we identify with them.
We Live in a Selfish Culture
It takes constant practice and recognition to acknowledge and recognize that what you are feeling is separate from the self. This is because we have been identifying with emotions for most of our lives. We live in a culture that reeks of self-centered values and pushes the identification with feelings and emotions. Living in a culture like this makes it hard for us to see that we are more than our emotions. I sometimes feel as though some people think of themselves as balls of emotion. Especially some of the people I have met that say “I’m an emotional person“. Those people, in my opinion, just wallow in their emotions and let them run their lives. But when you come to the realization that you are not your emotions, you begin to realize just because you feel as though a situation is good, does not make the situation good, same goes with a situation you feel is bad.
Just because you feel a certain way about a situation doesn’t make it so. Take things for what they are. It helps to take a step back and look past the blanket of emotion blocking you from seeing how things are.
THE BIGGER PICTURE: We limit ourselves by the way we feel
In my opinion, emotions are very close to that of a limitation, or we allow them to be a limitation. They themselves are not the limitation. We allow them to control how we act, instead acknowledging what they tell us and make a decision higher than that of the information received. This happens in many areas in our lives. For example, throughout most of my school years I went around with the feeling that it was hard as hell to talk to random people. I felt a fear of rejection. I thought if I even opened my mouth they would be like, “um who the fuck are you”. The way I felt about this morphed my personal reality into making me think this was so. When in actuality going up to a people and talking to them is not that big a deal, but I made it one (Limiting myself via my feelings). When I started to realize that me feeling a certain way towards a situation does not make it so, I challenged my feeling. I made it a goal to talk to one random person a day whether it be about the weather, the cool kicks they were wearing, etc, and you know what I found out, talking to people in general is not hard at all (Yes, the first time I was preparing to talk to a random person I was nervous as hell, and sweating my ass off, but after I thought, “damn… I thought this was hard?”. It became easier as I practiced ). All I had to do was just do it, this applies to anything. Just Execute. But what stops most of us from the execution is the feelings we hold so dear and identify with.
Let them go, separate yourself from your feelings and emotions. Challenge you feelings. In doing so you will find out what you TRUELY are capable of.