YOU’Re TRYING TOO HARD
We have a problem in how we think of happiness. We think that happiness is this entity that we so desperately try to find out there in the world, but that is the illusion.
Happiness comes from within.
Many people find themselves asking “Am I happy? “or “Why am I not happy?” If you really have to ask yourself that then the answer is obviously no. People try too hard to be happy.
The secret here, or what people don’t seem to know is that happiness is no different than any other emotion or feeling. It’s not like we ask ourselves when we are angry, “Am I angry?”. We just are. People take on the state of anger without having to reassure themselves or ask themselves if they are angry.
I doubt you have ever found yourself trying to force yourself to be angry either. It’s much like trying to force yourself to relax or fall asleep. These things don’t work in this manner. Feelings, like happiness, cannot be attained by TRYING or forcing. They just happen .
Don’t get me wrong. In no situation does a happiness unicorn pop out your ass and instantly make you feel happy for no reason or just happen. There is a reason for happiness to occur, and we will get into that.
A happy person doesn’t question if they are happy, they just are.
What you think happiness is, is a LIE.
HAPPINESS IS NOT PLEASURE
When most people seek happiness they turn to their pleasures. They seek good food, more sex, drugs, a new car, parties, more this and more that in hopes to find happiness. They believe that it is within their pleasures that happiness lies or that their pleasures are their happiness. They aren’t.
That’s a misconception.
I can assure you that drug addicts that pursued their pleasure, aren’t too happy. Ask anyone who is pursuing food as their pleasure if they are happy in knowing they now have to fight obesity and health problems. I’m sure they aren’t.
Pleasure is a false god. Pleasure is the happiness in obtaining superficial things, a false sense of happiness. It is the “quick fix” happiness we try to fill ourselves with. Most people hop from pleasure to pleasure wondering why their happiness is short lived.
It has been found in research that people who focus their energy on materialistic and superficial pleasures end up more anxious, more emotionally unstable and less happy in the long-run. It’s because happiness isn’t in superficial things, superficial things only provide superficial happiness.
HAPPINESS IS NOT POSITIVITY
We have all come into contact with those “I’m always happy” kind of people. Those motherfuckers have either never faced hardship or just straight delusional.
In life, shit happens, regardless if you decide to acknowledge it or not. If you don’t, well that’s your problem, your just sitting around picking daisies in your own personal reality.
Being happy all the time is totally different than being able to feel what your feeling and still do what you have to do; being able to execute regardless of what you feel (shitty or not). Someone who thinks there are no ups and downs in life is delusional. These people just consciously choose not to look at the bad things that happen in life/pretend they don’t exist.
Research has shown that these type who deny negative emotions tend to have deeper and more prolonged negative emotional issues. This is because they run from reality and create their own little “happy land” inside their heads.
Don’t do that shit. It does you, nor anyone else any good.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO LOWER YOUR STANDARDS TO BE HAPPY
It’s said a lot in today’s culture that the reason that you are not happy is because you have “high” expectations.
Personally, I believe that’s bullshit. I think we shoot too low in our expectations and pursue superficial/material things to make us happy, rather than pursuing a process that is in alignment with the self. What I mean by a process is that our happiness is not in end results, but in self fulfillment .
Most people believe that happiness is in the end result and it’s not. People think, “When I have that new car I’ll be happy” or “When I get that new promotion, then I’ll be happy.” When they finally reach their goal they find they feel no different than they did before they had these things. This is because the end result does not hold the key to happiness, it’s the process.
The $100,000+ salary you earn isn’t what makes you happy, it was within the process of working up to that point that excited you and made you happy.
In a competition, all your work up until the competition is what you love. All the pain, blood, sweat and tears to compete in something you love. It’s the pursuit of fulfillment which grants us happiness. When you win a trophy, the trophy is just a materialistic symbol for what you accomplished in your process (just like the car or new promotion). I’m sure if you asked an athlete about what their trophies meant to them they would say nothing in regard to the trophy, but what they represent.
They do what they do out of the love of their sport. Their passion and enjoyment of continuous self fulfillment.
THE HAPPINESS UNICORN and how to find that shit
Basically to be happy, you have to be happy in your process. A process that is in alignment with you inner self, your true feelings.
If you haven’t found your process then my only advice to you is to fail to your process, or take a better look within yourself. Understand yourself. Some people know what drives them, what they enjoy, but are either afraid to fail because they are scared to make a fool of themselves, or just don’t like uncertainty. If you really want to be happy, just do what you feel is right for you. Stop following what others are telling you the “right way” is.
I believe that failing, and being able to appreciate failure is a major building block to happiness. If you fail at something and can come out of that experience saying you enjoyed it, I’m damn sure you are on the right track to finding what makes you happy.
Even though avoidance of uncertainty is built into human beings, don’t be a bitch and make that your excuse. Overcome it. Although, if you want to be unhappy and on your death bed have the “what if” questions about your life, then be my guest.
- Understand yourself
- Don’t pursue pleasures thinking they are what make you happy
- Understand that being positive is not the same as being happy
- Lowering your expectations is shit
- fail to your process.